2019 epopee: card #21: I am CONFIDENT.

I am experimenting something for a few weeks now, and I wanted to share it with you. This week, we will focus on confidence. Confidence in ourselves, confidence in the process, confidence in general.

I won’t talk about trust today. It requires it’s on week, I guess, hahaha.

I am confident in myself. Not to the point of being arrogant, but I am confident. On the work side of life, I know that I am efficient and that the kids learn what they are supposed to learn, with an extra empathy and openness skill at the end of the year. With extra confidence in themselves too… It’s the mission I give myself each school year… and for what I know, I accomplish it… so it gives the confidence to reach solutions even further. It keeps my job being interesting to me… Because if I look at all the other things surrounding it, I think I would just slam the door without looking back. But I chose to plant seeds in those kids, to help them grow, hoping that they will become beautiful flowers or trees. Knowing that they can be, no matter what.

I am confident in my judgment. I trust my instinct, and listen to my intuition…. while relaying on the skills I learned throughout my whole life… It’s this balance between what I know, what I master, and what I feel that gives me confidence in myself. I will remain open to updates that will reassure my choice or make me change it. But mainly, when I have to make a choice, I will trust my inner self and stay true to who I am. During the last 40 years or so, I learned a lot of lessons, I assimilated most of them (the remaining will come back straight at me and I will have no choice but to accept and learn them hahaha). These lessons, these skills, this knowledge made me the one I am, brought me where I stand and will still guide me on the path I still have to walk. I know that they built this solid ground from which I can take off anytime needed.

I am confident in myself. I learned to accept me the way I am. And be happy about it. I don’t try to look like someone else, I don’t try to fit in any mold. I am just myself, and the day I accepted it was truly freeing. I learned to love myself, not only accept me but to truly love me. With kindness, caring about my body, my well being. Doing things I love to do, nourishing my soul and my mind. I love the way I think, I learned to tame and master it. I had to learn it by myself. Nowadays it’s easier for kids in my case to reach resources helping them to understand, but when I was a teen,I had to figure it by myself. Wasn’t the quickest or easiest way, but it was mine, and I am happy I could understand that each and every one of us is different, thinks differently, learn differently, and that it’s ok, we can all still interact and live together, love each other. And use our very own skills to be the best version of who we are supposed to be. Today, I feel I reach that point. I am the best version of myself. Which is probably very different of other people’s best version of themselves. And that is OK. Who cares? Diversity is what makes humankind so strong. Acceptance is what makes us priceless.

So when I walk, I walk my head up high, confidently. I greet everything and everyone entering my life with open harms, eyes and mind. I have nothing to fear. I will probably learn something, I will probably enjoy to time spend with this new experience. I will probably bring something to it too. I am confident in the process, because of the way I look at things. I don’t look for approval. I don’t look for fitting. I look for experience. So there is nothing to fear, everything to learn. Learn about the situation, about the other person, about myself. And this is what makes life so rich.

I am confident that when time has come, I will meet people or situations that will make me grow. I will then be able to fully enjoy it. I am confident that I will be able to make the best of it. And that I will enjoy each part of the process.

As I am confident in myself, I tend to attract people who makes me grow. Those whose goal is to play mind games and manipulations feel they have nothing to play with here. So they stay out of my path, out of my life. They are attracted by weakness, by vulnerability, by those cracks they will invade and spread for their own pleasure. I see them coming from afar. They can feel it and just go away. They wouldn’t be able to stand the light I would bring to their true self. And it’s ok by my book. Life taught me to fight, to see through. And that is surely a precious skill I learned.

I am confident because I have nothing to loose. I only have everything to gain. So I can’t be fearful. I can be eager to learn, to grow, to love, to live. And most of the time, it can be seen. I enjoy the life I am given to live. My dark days are far behind me. They taught me a lot. I am thankful for that. So thankful. But now it’s time for me to rise and shine, to be an alchemist of life, and to spread the light. It’s the mission I gave myself. It’s the way I plan to live the rest of my life. And till now, I am really successful doing so.

So this week, raise your chin, look straight ahead and be confident in who you are. You are worth it, every second of it, every bit of it. May each step you take be to reach the best version of yourself, to build relationship that will bring you what you need just as you bring them what they may need. Be open. Be confident in life.

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