2019 Epopee: card #19. I am FULFILLED

This week, as I was thinking about the positive affirmation I would choose, I realized that I could do simple, for once. I changed my point of view on a lot of things these last months. I stopped trying to reach what wasn’t resonating in me. I made the choice to be genuine, no matter what, knowing that my life training and experience would help me avoid most of the traps placed on my way. And no, ego had nothing to do with it. It was the opposite actually: I was done playing the ego game.

I am satisfied with what life gave me so far. I have a place to live, a job that helps me grow each and every day, the means to fuel my creative ways, friends and family, my health is rather good, I live in a beautiful place, surrounded by nature, witnessing seasons as they go by, and I am free to do whatever I want. So to me, all this is fulfilling. And I do feel fulfilled. In so many ways. I could spend some time pointing at what is ‘missing’ in my life, but I tend to think that if something isn’t in my life right now, it’s because it is not meant to be at this time, and that it’s ok.

As soon as I looked at my life from this angle, everything shifted, everything took place, and dynamics that were on stand by, sometimes for years, started to move on. And it felt good.

We spend so many times to run after things or ideals seemingly reachable but actually illusionary that we miss the whole point: enjoying our life as it is. Enjoying who we are, enjoying our relations, enjoying the place we live in, enjoying the course of time. We are so busy running after whatever we run after that we don’t see what really matters, what can bring us joy, and peace, and happiness, and smile.

We are so trapped in the stress surrounding us, that we are stuck to the ground while we are supposed to jump, and open our wings to conquer a higher level. We let negativity put chains on us and ego stirs all this into a pretty mess…. while we are supposed to take a huge breath and let life fill us with lessons that will help us grow stronger, wiser, more open.

Until we decide that we are done playing. I made this choice. One morning, I woke up and it was obvious, so obvious I said it out loud. The cat woke up too, looked at me, purred, winked to let me know it was indeed time for me, and that was it. I was done playing. And I felt I could really breathe fully for the first time in years.

Now that I freed myself from the game, I could live along my own rules. Not those stroking, erasing, molding rules I tried unsuccessfully to follow (well, actually, I didn’t really try…. I pretended to?).

So here are my rules:

Be Open.

That’s it.

To me it means that:

  1. I am accepting myself as I am. Because if something needs to change, it will, when time has come. Till then, I go on living my life as I feel to. It’s perfect the way it is now. I am also accepting others as they are. They have their own path to walk, and it’s not for me to interfere.
  2. I enjoy each part of my life experience. Open eyes, open arms, open mind. To enjoy each and every little thing that can bring fuel to my thought, to my soul, to my journey. I won’t get lost, my base is strong enough, and sometimes, I may even be a beacon for others. I let my light shine, no matter what.
  3. I embrace my creativity flow in each and every realm of my life, as it brings me happiness. And I let it lead me to unknown territories so that I learn more.
  4. I am beyond negativity and ego reach. I enjoy my life as I live it fully.

And you know what? Since I took this decision, since I made this choice, everything seems to align with my will and needs. And if sometimes I tell myself I should have done it sooner, I then realize that it’s a silly thought. It happened at the right time. A time when I can fully enjoy the process, when I can really understand and feel the difference. I needed to live through all of my life experiences to be able to truly enjoy the path I am walking now.

The thing that makes me smile the most is that I still look the same, I still work at the same place, with the same people, driving the same car, living in the same place. Materially, nothing has changed. My perception of it did. And that was all it took to switch my whole world into MY whole world. I decided to own my life. That’s it. I decided my inner peace was worth it. I decided to let myself be. Truly be. I decided to take a few steps back and to enjoy what I was looking at. I decided that I had all the reasons in the world to be proud of what I became, and that I could just start to enjoy my life as it is. All these little pieces I worked on so patiently for so long are taking their place in my life puzzle. And their perfect fit is something I can be proud of. I can now go on, knowing that I was able to create something as intricate, and powerful, and loving, and strong, and meaningful as my life till now. I can be fulfilled, for sure, as it is rich and so thrilling.

The beauty of all this is that my life is far from being done. I still have a lot to learn, to grow from, to create, to live, to love, to feel. A lot more puzzle pieces to create that will find their perfect fit too…

So this week, take a step through the mirror and choose to be fulfilled too. It’s easy, you just have to decide to be.

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