This week, a word came again and again in my mind and in my conversations: power. So I guess I have to do something with it… even if it’s a notion I don’t really care about most of the time… Maybe was it time for me to look into it more deeply.

I tend to be really critical about people exercising power… mundane power, that is. Political power, economical power, spiritual power even… I was raised in a society where your learn at a really young age to take responsabilities, to exercise your rights, and I am thanksfull for that. It’s also a society based on cultural traditions that find their roots in religion and a certain idea of government. For centuries, power was in the hands of the well born, the religious ones (who belong to the same families, actually) and the wealthy (who weren’t well born, but wanted to live as such). And this ‘tradition’, as it lasted a millennium or so, is deep rooted in people’s mind.. Nowadays, economical power is all mighty…

I chose to follow my own path, away of all these considerations… probably because it’s deep rooted in my blood. My ancestors lived through history being humble people. And I have no doubt about the fact that I owe my fierce personality to some of them…

I decided to learn history. To understand where we all come from, and to go deeper into it. I specialized into history of mentalities and everyday history. My master was about testaments in late Middle Ages, before, during and after the Black Plague in a spanish city. I learned a lot, and never stopped read and learn about what make people live, believe and go on the way they do. This is probably one of my powers: being able to put into perspective what I witness in my everyday life.

I was also interested in the way religion exercise a power on people. Throughout all history, and even before, spirituality is something that plays an important part in people’s life. I am not a believer myself, and being raised in a catholic tradition probably didn’t help me in that matter. But I can understand that people find comfort in belonging to a group that believe in the same values, that obey to the same rules. It’s just not for me. I am probably to free minded to be able to follow this kind of path. And my way of seeing my own evolution is not something that can fit into religion, I guess… But it’s ok. I spent time learning about religions, about spiritualities, about philosophies, and I can understand why they make sense to people. I just chose to follow my own flow.

My own power express itself in this idea of freedom I guess. I am free to believe in whatever makes sense to me, to follow whatever path presents itself, to be who I choose to be, to live and leave wherever and whenever I want. it’s the life I’ve chosen for myself, helped of course by some…. ‘events’.

I am now in my mid 40s. Strong as ever. This inner strength life gave me by putting me into some storms, making me go through my personal hell several times. I survived. I learned a lot about people and myself in the process. It is the path I chose to follow. I don’t regret it. It was made and meant for me. It made me the one I am now. And I can enjoy each and every moment of my life without being afraid of anything. This is my true power: knowing that whatever may come, I will be able to face it and learn from it.

In a time where power seems to be given to people only desiring to be powerful, without the single ability to exercise it with decency, I step back and look at what really matters: people I care about, things I can do, and most of all, seeds I can plant. I don’t know if or when they may grow, but it doesn’t really matter. My only duty is to plant them… seeds of empathy, understanding, care, integrity.

So this week i wish you can exercise your own personal power and shine in the darkness or these troubled times. We are the beacons.