When I decided to openly be myself, I thought it would be simple… But I didn’t thought about something: it doesn’t matter who you are, true or not, people will see you through their own filters.
For years, I tried to make myself accepted by taking upon myself and trying to blend. I was clearly asked to do so. So I tried… and let me tell you it took me a lot of energy and patience to do so. I had other battles to fight, more important one.
Then my daughter passed. And I had no reason to pretend anymore, or even to try. I first cut myself from….. everything. Took some time by myself, to focus, to try to understand and accept, to survive. And I had to come back to an apparent life, working, interacting with people. It was something I needed to get prepared to do. Because the one who left to take care of Emma wasn’t the same person who came back. I changed. In fact, I just rediscovered myself, I got back to theone I was before I had to protect her and take care of her wellbeing before everything else.
I only had to take care of myself. In order to do so, I needed to be myself. And to get back to my values, ethics and code. As my whole world changed and crumbled, I needed to define new boundaries, new rules. Most of them dealt with what I could and could not accept from people. First thing was respect. I can handle blunders…. but if they are repeated once, then I call them malice. And that I can’t accept. I can accept misunderstanding, as I am not the simplest one, but not disrespect. My main rule was to be really careful not to harm or hurt anyone, with my words or my behaviour. But I had crystal clear boundaries to. The kind of boundaries you do not want to cross. I made myself really clear on that point.
So I let people deal with that. If they have a problem with me, it’s THEIR problem, not mine. I am in peace with myself, I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, but myself. I have a pretty good understanding of who I am and why I am the one I am… I accept myself as the one I am now.
And lately, I released the last part of what I kept hidden. I just unlock my energy as it truly is, not as they could handle. What a relief!! I felt free again, free to really be myself. Some people noticed I walked a different way, I ‘felt’ a different way. Some probably felt insecure and/or threatened. I let them be and feel the way they did. It’s none of my business. Because I don’t need their approval. As long as I stay true to myself, I know everything will be fine. Their path is not mine. My path isn’t theirs. I let them walk through their life with their own lessons to learn. It’s not my call.
You see, I don’t have time or energy for that… I have a life to live. Fully, truly and deeply.
So here is your challenge:
One card a week 43
Quote: « Not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let them criticize who they think you are. »
Pattern: Cosmic-Flower
Here are the rules of the challenge:
- Each thursday, I’ll give you a quote and a pattern to play with. You can use both, you can use only one of them, it’s up to you.
- You have till the next wednesday to make your card and share it with us in the facebook group (just ask to be added, and I will open the doors wide open to you )
- The goal of this challenge it just to offer yourself a time to have fun with pens and cards, to ponder on words, to enjoy a ME time. We tend to forget about ourselves so easily! And sharing is such a beautiful thing to experiment in our life!
And here is my card:
