This week, we will focus on letting go, on following the flow, on trusting the process.
Sometimes, we need to stop trying to figure things out. We just have to trust in the process, be aware of synchronicities and go with the flow.
When I feel stuck in an area of my life, I don’t get frustrated anymore, as I used to. I just let go and open my eyes and mind to little things that can show me the way I need to take to regain confidence, joy and serenity. I still go on what I am doing, but I am not linked to it emotionally anymore. I am focused on clues to get out of this feeling. And usually, it is unexpectedly really effective. See, I wasn’t feeling good in my job this year. I even thought about quitting. A lot of things made me feel frustrated, and dealing with it almost lead me to burn out. As I was really considering going another way, I received some new textbooks… As I do several times a year. But this time, I opened them. And they offered me all I was missing and gave me the solution to some of my frustration. So now, I am almost (I still have to finish this year, and pfew, this one is soooo long!) eager to start anew. I found back my motivation, my mind is imagining all I could do, with an enthusiasm I thought I lost. And as I was thinking about how I could do it, my director sent me the money I still have on my class account. I have enough to buy all the textbooks and notebooks I need. And I will still have more money to do other projects… So I thought about that, and I am all excited at the thought of what I will be able to do next year. 2 months ago, I was about to quit. Today I am really motivated to explore another way of doing my job, a way that makes more sense to me, and I am sure kids will feel it and that we will all spend a good year.
I also felt I was stuck in my way of drawing… and I had the opportunity to join this online course… I even had enough money to pay for the non free part, but I was still thinking about it, was it worth it? And one day, I decided to stop worrying about it, to start the free part and to see if I liked it or not, if it was what I needed… I let go of pressure, just enjoying the process, going with the flow. And my parents, who didn’t have a clue about what I was thinking, gave me enough money to cover half the price of the course. So no more thinking, I can peacefully dive into it!
For a long time, I shielded myself from people. I had enough to deal with already, I was grieving and trying to put my pieces together. Plus I was done trying to explain myself. I am the one I am. I am proud of the one I became. I don’t need to explain myself. I just need to be … me. It took me more time to let go of my defense walls. Because they really were thick, able to face anything. And one day I woke up with this deep feeling: I am done protecting others. Because in reality, I wasn’t protecting myself, I don’t need to, but I was protecting others feelings, perceptions, sensibility. Enough. I am myself, rising from my ashes once more, shining and stronger than I ever was. Accept it, or leave me be. I let go of those restrains I put on myself. I gained back my freedom. And I trusted the journey I was taking. I began to really noticed all these little things, I opened myself to whatever came. I followed the flow, with my mind and my arms wide open. I didn’t expect to find deep connection to people, but my steps lead me to kindred souls, and I really feel I am where I am supposed to be.
I also usually keep my wounds to myself, because they are deep and heavy, and I don’t want to put them on another plate. Few are those able to handle them. I still have to heal, and have been for years. But I decided to let go too, and to share some of them.. And it allowed people to better understand where I am coming from. And it felt good.
And the loneliness due to covid and the restrictions we have here, the different lock downs and the non so logical decisions we had to put in place were starting to take a toll on me. And instead of being oppressed about it, I just let it go. It didn’t depending on me. But what depended on me was the way I was living it. So I trusted in my path. i had to live it to realize that if I was good by myself I wasn’t against having someone close in my life. And I went on with my life, following the flow. Till I realized I had someone in my life already, as we spend all our evenings together for months now. It wasn’t what I was expecting, if I expected anything, but it is exactly what I needed at that time, exactly what I was missing. And I am happy about it. I don’t know how I would have dealt with the last months without that person in my life. Trust the process, you will find what you need. Expect the unexpected. And enjoy!
So this week, let go of the perceptions that stops you from going on your path, and choose to take the cross roads if you feel like it. Just trust that you will find whatever you need whenever you need it. Because you deserve it.
I am not happy with this one, and if I post this that late today, it’s because I tried to fix it a bit. I will redo it soon, I think, as soon as I find the time to do so. I wanted to express that the path were are on is ours. We can choose to follow the steps, or to rest on the rocks, or even to go on the left, to jump on the top of the hill to see what is behind, or just stopping to lie on the grass, to look at plants… there are a lot of possibilities and they are all a part of our journey.
Have a good week. And if you feel something is wrong, just let it go, and be open to change. You will get exactly what you need, probably not what you thought or imagined. Enjoy!