The Alchemist Grove 25. The Sun.

When I saw the topic of this week, I couldn’t help but laughing for a good 15 minutes. You see, we are in the middle of a heat wave and I really have a hard time with it. I am not made for that kind of temperatures… or light… but I gave it a thought and I realized that the time had come to rise and shine.

I never was able to blend. And it’s ok, I don’t mind. But I spent the time trying to be unnoticed.. I wanted peace, i wanted to put my pieces together. I tried to hide my fiery temper, my true self to avoid drama and useless explanation. people are so prompt to judge, especially if they don’t understand. They need to feel comfortable in their perception of their environment, which include people sharing it. I also needed to protect my child for a bit longer than a decade, so I shut down and tried to play along rules. When Emma passed, I went on. I needed to take the time I needed to put myself back together. But then, the time came when I didn’t need to hide anymore. I started to unleash part of myself that would be easily accepted first… then pushed further and further, until everything was being seen. Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Showing my true colors, being myself again.

It wasn’t that easy. I had to be careful, to go slowly, but I was determined and nothing could stop the process. It was time for my very own sun to rise and to shine. Until I was able to show the world my light and warmth. Until the seeded I planted during my winter started to bloom and flourish. It wasn’t that easy… I still had to learn to adjust… I was indeed able to burn… and I did, from time to time… I can be really patient and understanding, but if you go too far, this is what you get.

Of course, some saw my rising self as a threat to their own light, while I was just here the whole time, just hidden by the clouds they send in my direction… But clouds come and go… and my time had come to shine. My own way, just adding some light here and there, just bringing my energy to the collective… Freely. I wasn’t trying to steal anything to anyone, there is enough room from each of us and more. I knew I had a lot to share, a lot to give, a lot to learn, and I was opening myself to these experiences… Of course, more clouds were sent my way, of course they came and went…

I firmly believe in balance, in equilibrium. I try to be as fair as I can. I ignored the attempts to switch off my light. They just didn’t realize that they spent really valuable energy for no reason other than comforting their ego. I was passed that kind of game. I was just myself again, and that was all that mattered, because I went through so much to reach this point. I was strong and bright, willing to help the growth of was was placed under my responsibility. It was time for me to do what I was meant to do. And it didn’t depend on anyone but me. I was confident in my abilities, perfectly aware of my limits and I accepted it with no problem. I was (and still is) a work in progress, but I was strong enough to bring my part to the world.

In a way, it was a brand new experience for me. I perfectly knew my dark side, but I had no idea of what my light one would be. I just knew I was ready to show it, to myself, to others, to the collective. I decided to go with the flow, and to trust in the process, because I could feel it was the right thing to do deep within. It was time to bring balance back, and I was part of it. I have no appetite for power, never had, probably never will. it’s just not my thing. But I can’t stand injustice, I am really good at fighting for what I believe in. I know who I am, where I come from and what I need to do. it took a while, but I stood firm, and I bring what I can to those who need it. I try not to be distracted by those clouds here and there. They are not meant for me. They can’t shut my light off, they only can hide it from those it is meant to. But it always end up showing. So I rise each morning, shine as I can, and let them bloom and flourish. I then rejuvenate with the Moon and go on the next day. This is what I am meant to do, this is what I am meant to be. I am a burning ball of passion, life and my energy is meant for those willing to receive it. I just hope to help them grow, and show them the light they need to go on their own journey.

So this week, Be the sun of your own life, rise and shine, be happy to do so. And show the world your true self. because it deserves it. Because you deserve it.

The card

I didn’t have to look really far for inspiration, i simply used the card of the sun I made for last year inner journey. I really suffer from the heat and I don’t have a lot of energy… And it’s a really really busy time at work, so I didn’t have much time. But I am pretty happy with it. Of course, I will work on it again later, but for now, it really expresses the strength and warmth of the sun. I hope you like it.

My journey

Our journal

I wish you a beautiful week. Rise and shine!

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