The Alchemist Grove 30. The Daisy.

This week, just like daisies, we will open ourselves. To the world, and to ourselves. We will fearlessly expose our heart and receive what the world has to offer.

To be open is not that easy. As long as we are led by fear. Fear to be hurt, fear to be misunderstood, fear to be judged. Trust me, I’ve been there. But it became too painful for me to stay closed, just because of fear. Fear to hurt, fear to have to justify myself again, and again, and again. Then I realized that I locked myself in my own inner prison. My worst fear weren’t the one keeping me from opening. I know this as a fact because I had to face them, and to overcome them. Those fears are led by illusion, by misconceptions. Nothing could stop me from being fully open but myself. And it became more and more difficult to remained in a place of integrity. I needed to find my balance back. And in order to do so, I needed to learn that being vulnerable doesn’t mean being weak. It’s at the contrary a beautiful strength. I made myself vulnerable, exposing my daisy heart to the world. But I am also confident in my ability to face whatever may come, and to grow from that.

Life is made of many joyful, beautiful moments, and some more difficult, challenging times. They are both part of our life path. We can try to avoid challenges, pain, sadness, but they will come anyway. Or we can try to see them as teachers, as experiences that will make us full. Balance. I hope my darkest days are behind me, but I also know that if such days come back into my life, I won’t have to close to the emotions they will bring. I will recognize them as old friends and welcome them. They will stay a while, then we will part again, and lighter times will enter my life. I am confident enough in my own abilities to learn from each and every experience I live. Because I opened to myself.

On my darkest days, I opened my pandora box. With an open mind, open eyes and open arms. I was ready to welcome each and every part of who I was. In order to do so, I left aside this inner judgmental goblin we all have. This creature made by the culture we live in, the beliefs we were taught, the society we were raised into. They don’t belong to us, they were brought to us, they were imposed to us. We can follow the main rules without being robbed from our proper self. We all have an inner pandora box we kept hidden deep within. And by opening it, away from judgement, I made the choice to free myself from these self imposed shackles. I recognized my pieces, welcomed them, accepted them and integrated them into who I am. in doing so, I freed myself from the goblins, from judgement. And I initiated the beautiful path of self love. it took me some time to really appreciate who I am. To embrace my whole self, my passions, my uniqueness. But it brought me such an inner peace, and I found my integrity back. And it took me even longer to show my core to the world. Not by fear of it. More because it felt to out of place most of the time. Until I realized that I too belong to this flow, and that it was time for me to rise and shine, to show my true colors, with confidence, with love for myself and with a peaceful but strong will to let them bring their own touch to the canvas of life.

Of course, some didn’t understand or accept that I was how I was. We are just not on the same path. And theirs is as valid as mine. I can’t blame them, we are just walking in different directions and they all need to be explored. Still, I can still learn from them, their own experiences adding perspective to what I live. I won’t interfere, I will just watch them evolve and take what I need to take from their insights and actions. But it won’t change my own journey. Others are more difficult to deal with, as they really trigger me. Those are really interesting in fact, and their teachings are deeper. If I am triggered, it means that I still have to work on that very point. That I didn’t free myself from their judgement on that very subject. That I still have to learn about it. I am far from being perfect and I don’t aim to be. And in a way, knowing that I am still a work in progress is a real joy. When I feel triggered, my first instinct is to be in full defense mode… which to me leads to surround myself with high walls and grab my double blade axe. Full warrior mode, full protective mode. I now try to go another way, and it’s not that easy as this is my default way of dealing with this kind of things… but in doing so, I lock myself back… and that’s not how I want to go on with my life.

So now, when I feel triggered, I recognized that I am, and I thank the person who made me feel this way. Not because I love feeling that way, but because they show me where I need to focus my attention in order to grow. And when it’s too difficult (you can’t go from a full warrior mode to a daisy in a blink, clearly), I just ignore them, let it go, and work on it when I am by myself… I may also let some anger get out still, I am only a beginner in this realm… and I still have a lot of pride in me… You can’t overcome some of your personal hells without feeling a bit proud of yourself, can you? So I know, I may have to adjust that too, and I truly believe that this is why I am triggered so easily in some area of my life… I am a work in progress, and I love it, because there is always things to be improved. And I will work on them, with respect and love for myself. Because I deserve it.

So what do I have to fear? To discover what needs to be worked on still? It’s a beautiful thing. To be rejected? By who? They can reject me, but I still can consider them as valuable teachers, while going on my own path, with joy. To be judged? Judgement is an illusion. It doesn’t have to impact me, as it comes from a place of misunderstanding. We just go on different direction and I still can learn from them, with compassion and openness. To be hurt? Pain is part of life, just as everything else. It’s also a wonderful teacher, one of those who make you grow stronger and wiser. I embrace it as much as I embrace peace and happiness.

So this week, let your daisy self to open, to bloom, and to show the world what a beautiful core you have. Because you, too, deserve it.

The card

When I thought about being open, I envisioned a daisy right away. I could have drawn it from another view point, but I wanted it to express the growth openness means to me. I also chose not to show its core, because we don’t need to see it, it’s not aimed to us, but to the world. We built this core, we know how beautiful it is. I instead decided to put the focus on the petals, to illustrate both our will to open (they lead to the core) and our vulnerability (they are so delicate) and on the stem, holding everything together, grounded and rising . We can now spread our own magic into the world… I hope you’ll like it as much as I do!

My journey

Our journal

I wish you a beautiful week. Rise and shine!

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