Étiquette : journaling

The Alchemist Grove 33. The Moon

This week we will focus on cycles, and we will enjoy the full Moon to harvest the fruits of our intentions.

The Moon is, to me, the master of cycles. As a woman, my own cycle harmonizes with hers. As a human being, my life is more or less led by her rhythm, as a living being, I follow the cycle of Life. A lot of our life is led by cycles, whether we acknowledge them or not. And as tonight is a full Moon, there is no more perfect day to share with you my views on cycles.

If we look at the Moon cycle more closely, we will see that ours is not that different, from the new moon of our birth and childhood, when we bloom and grow in the womb of our family, to the first quarter of our young adult years, when we start to build our life, our family, when we are on our path, beginning our own unique journey, growing and being stronger, to the full moon of our mature adulthood, when we master our craft, when we know who we are, when we have reached stability and maturity, to the third quarter of our old age, when we slow our pace, when we spend time to reflect on our life, our family, and when we can see the accomplishments of our lifetime. We then go to our passing just life the moon embrace it’s dark moon phase.

We can also align with the Moon phases when it comes to projects, relationships, or spiritual journey. The new Moon of our life would be when we plant the seeds of our intentions, our dreams, into the darkness of our mind, keeping them safe, letting them take roots, slowly, safely, until they are ready to get out. Then they may start to sprout in the first quarter of our desires, and require all our attention and care. This is where we give them our full attention, nourishing them, protecting them, making sure they get all they need to be healthy and grow strong. Then they fully bloom on the full moon of our harvest, and we can see the fruits of our labor, harvest them, enjoy their abundance and make sure to share them. Lastly, the last quarter of our thoughts offers us a time to gather the lessons learned and to be grateful. Before a new cycle starts, again, and again and again, to fulfill our intentions and desires, to make us grow to our full potential and be the beautiful beings we are meant to be.

Our life is lead by cycles: hours, days, weeks, months, seasons, years. We can choose to follow them, to go with the flow of Life, to belong to its rhythm, or we can try to fight against it, it’s up to us. By embracing our cyclic nature, we allow ourselves to embrace the universality of it, as a living being. By trying to go against it, we let our ego take over, and it disconnect us from the universal rhythm. I chose to fully embrace them, and to go back to a more natural approach of my own rhythm and cycles. As women, we are sometimes taught that we go through 3 phases: the Child, then the Mother, and lastly the Crone. There is something missing here, to be honest…. We don’t go from the mother to the crone…. There is this time where we reign on our own life, blooming, confident, where we don’t have anything to prove to anyone. This is the time of the Queen phase. This is when we are shining, confident and accepting, sharing what we know, what we learned, embracing our body and being fully women, not only mothers, not only daughters, not yet elder. This is when we are free to be whoever we want, when we can show our true power over our own life, caring for our kingdom, caring for our family, reconnecting with our body as the beautiful vessel it is, welcoming the changes it went through and will go through, owning each steps. I see my grew hair as a crone, and I held my head up high, proud of it. I embrace my stretch marks and round belly as trophies earned being a mother. And I am happy they are here, as in my case, they are the last signs I once was a mother. I own my shapes, my curves, as feminine attributes, and i don’t try to hide them. I adorn them as something I can be proud of. I am reigning over my own life, being the one I want to be. I respect others, but I won’t tolerate disrespect. I will educate, but won’t hide my power over my own life. I chose to embrace it, I chose to go with the flow, and I am grateful I did.

So this week, be aware of the cycles in your life, and try to align with them. Because you deserve it.

The card

Today is a full moon, so I couldn’t resist the temptation to draw it. it was that simple. Just a plain, bright yet soft full moon. There is really nothing else to add. I hope you enjoy it!

My journey

my journey 33Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-33Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week.

The Alchemist Grove 32. The Desert.

This week, we will focus on appreciating the time we can spend alone. The heat wave made me stay at home, by myself. I usually spend most of my summer in a kind of retreat, to reset. But first, I spend the first half of my break working, to get everything ready for the coming year. Once it’s done, I then can enjoy to live following my own rhythm, doing whatever brings me happiness, learn and read on subjects that interest me. Both rejuvenating and growing.

I learned to love being by myself, especially when my job requires me to be in contact with a lot of people during the rest of the year, to deal with their realities, to consider their views and expectation while driving them to understand mine and to try and educate those 25 tiny humans. It takes a lot of my energy, patience, and confidence. I often am completely drained. It’s not a matter of sane boundaries not being raised, it’s the toll I have to pay to do this job. And last year was even more demanding, with the sanitary protocol we had to put in place without the means to do so, and without help whatsoever of the hierarchy who seemed to have fun to change the rules as soon as we dealt with their orders… Not the best year, for sure. So yes, I really need time to reset, to gain my strengths back, to step back from the stress and the nonsense of it all. It’s a deep cleansing, in a way.

I also have no problem confronting my thoughts, and the break gives me the opportunity to dive deeper into realms of interests, to discover, to understand. I nourish my soul and my mind, while taking care of my body… I am not made for summer temperatures, hitting 35°C this year… I try to really make sure I sleep, hydrate and keep my body as comfortable as possible. Reading is them my favorite activity, with napping… as i really can’t do as I am used to… and no, no AC here, so the heat really can take a toll on my overall health. But I found that adjusting my sleep schedule to the warmer hours allows me to be more efficient on the cooler ones… Which means that I am mainly nocturnal on the hottest days… and it’s perfect to me!

Summer is really a time of self care for me. I see it as a retreat, and I usually learn a lot about my growth then. But in order to do so, I needed to treat myself as I deserved. I learned to respect my thoughts, and to understand my way of thinking. I learned to listen to my body and its needs, and to do all I can to fulfill them. I learned to embrace my emotions and let them express themselves as they wish… it’s a really freeing time, actually. I can spend as much time taking care of myself, instead of taking care of others, and I really need it. I am still in contact with my friends and family, but I put myself first, and it feels good. I need that reset. I then can go back, at my pace, to social interaction, with a far better state of mind.

I really enjoy this time because it really allows me to connect with everything I love. And it brings me so much!! After a while, I start to open to the little things, and see the wonder of the world again. I end up being completely in peace and harmony with myself, and ready to conquer the world again. I really value this time of retreat as a gift I make to myself. A time to reconnect with myself, my aspirations, my inspirations, to focus on what brings me joy and this serenity I run after all year long. And if some don’t understand, because to them it’s the perfect time to be with people, to discover new places, to party, I just remind them that I see a lot of people all year long, all day long, and that I am more an introvert. I just choose who I want to be with and when, but I mainly stay by myself. Because I deserve all my attention, at least once a year. And I am lucky enough to be able to do so.

This time is also rich in creativity. As i mostly have nothing to worry about, I can really free my mind and let my soul express itself. This is when I start to envision the yearly journey, when I plant its seed. This is when I explore new medias, new practices, when I read, write, draw, paint, design… when I take the time to feed my creativity and let it bloom.

So this week, try to find some time for yourself, plan a date with yourself, organize a self care day/week end/ week and reconnect with the one you are. because you deserve it.

The card.

I take digital painting lessons. And this week we had to do several sketches, preferably different subjects : objects, animals, characters, landscape. With this heat, I thought about a desert, right away hahaha. I did the sketch for my courses, but then when another way to draw the card: I took the same reference, but this time worked with color blocks, then worked from them to a more detailed image. I guess I was done with sketches for now hahaha. It was a really interesting process, a bit like sculpting shapes, and I learned a lot. I am pretty happy with the way it went at the end. I hope you’ll like it too!

My journey

my-journey-32Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-32Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week!

The Alchemist Grove 31. The Lantern.

This week, we will focus on how to bring our own light, how being ourselves can be a comfort for others, how we can glow safely. And to be honest, I just realized that today is new moon day. Perfect day to talk about light!

To me, we all hold our own light within. We can choose to keep it concealed or to let it shine. It doesn’t need to be a obnoxious stroboscope. We can just let it glow, softly, safely protected by our own boundaries. Such as a lantern in the night, we unveil a part of the unknown for those who journey nearby. We can offer warmth and comfort, and help them switch their own light on. We allow them to understand where they are, and present them the different directions they can take. We can do all that by simply be ourselves, by simply let our light glow.

The lantern metallic frame protects the more fragile glass part that surrounds the flame and allows it to be seen from a larger distance. Our frame is whatever makes us feel safe. We built it from our confidence, our memories, our values and principles. With it, we are able to glow even in the unknown.

The unknown is not mandatory dark. It’s mostly foggy, actually. But then our light allows us to see around us, and to be a landmark for others. They may use our own position to go a bit further, within the limit of our light hence unveiling a bit more, or stay with us to explore what we discovered. But whatever they do, they are not bugs blinded by our light, they are other lanterns. Some need to be lit again, some are already shining. Together, we can share our lights to explore, or we can give each other the confidence to shine a bit brighter, a bit longer.

The unknown is not our enemy. It’s just places and people we haven’t met yet. It is all the lessons yet to be learned, it is all the experiences yet to be lived. And we are meant to light them up, to discover them, to live them. protected in our frame, glowing or shining. Whatever happens next, we will see only a small part of it, letting others to unveil the rest. Step by step. Each of us being the landmark others may use to expand their own light. So whatever comes, I know that being myself, allowing the world to see who I am, will bring me at least as much as I will give. I won’t crush others with my blinding light. I will welcome them with a soft glow. It’s not about showing off; it’s about offering and receiving, creating a place of warmth and comfort.

Then we will part again, each of us following our own path, and glowing in another unknown part of life. Bringing with us our light to the world as we go forward. And peaceful, joyfully shining in case others may need to see and feel your light. We don’t need to impose our own vision of the world. We can show it to whoever is interested though. But in respecting their own journey, their own way to shine, we allow them to show us a bit more, and unveil a path we may take when time has come. We are all part of the unknown, and the beauty of it is that there is still so much to discover and that we will find other lanterns on our way to allow us to rest, to learn from them, to share our own journey. We may choose to stay with some for a while, a long time or part quickly.

But what we need to understand and accept is that each of us shine with our own light. Not all are the same. Not all are showing the same things. Each has its proper color, intensity, spectrum. But each shines. They can be at the same place at the same moment, but one may unveil the soil and the small things, while another may focus on the treetops and on the sky, and a last one may show more of the plants and landscape around them. We all shine differently and the beauty of existence is to interact together to have a better view of what is surrounding us. Some will be brighter during the day, when the fog covers everything with his cotton candy likeness, while other will feel more comfortable in the darkness, where their light will add a soft tint to what is around, even for a short while. And there are those who will shine no matter what, as if they knew they had no other choice than bringing their light to help others to find their way. We all shine, glow, sparkle. We all do it in our own personal way. And that’s what makes this world so beautiful.

So this week, let your light shine, and see what you may discover. Enjoy the process. Because you deserve it.

The card

I chose a metallic lantern, but I feel it may be changed into a more organic kind of light. I love the contrast between the teal of the metallic frame and the warmth of the flame. It was a real challenge for me to draw something non organic, and to express the metallic texture. But I really had fun during my testing and I am proud of what I managed to do. Even if I will probably go in another direction later. Or not. I really love this little lantern, to be honest… I hope you do too!

My journey

my-journey-31Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-31Télécharger

I wish you a good and shiny week!

The Alchemist Grove 30. The Daisy.

This week, just like daisies, we will open ourselves. To the world, and to ourselves. We will fearlessly expose our heart and receive what the world has to offer.

To be open is not that easy. As long as we are led by fear. Fear to be hurt, fear to be misunderstood, fear to be judged. Trust me, I’ve been there. But it became too painful for me to stay closed, just because of fear. Fear to hurt, fear to have to justify myself again, and again, and again. Then I realized that I locked myself in my own inner prison. My worst fear weren’t the one keeping me from opening. I know this as a fact because I had to face them, and to overcome them. Those fears are led by illusion, by misconceptions. Nothing could stop me from being fully open but myself. And it became more and more difficult to remained in a place of integrity. I needed to find my balance back. And in order to do so, I needed to learn that being vulnerable doesn’t mean being weak. It’s at the contrary a beautiful strength. I made myself vulnerable, exposing my daisy heart to the world. But I am also confident in my ability to face whatever may come, and to grow from that.

Life is made of many joyful, beautiful moments, and some more difficult, challenging times. They are both part of our life path. We can try to avoid challenges, pain, sadness, but they will come anyway. Or we can try to see them as teachers, as experiences that will make us full. Balance. I hope my darkest days are behind me, but I also know that if such days come back into my life, I won’t have to close to the emotions they will bring. I will recognize them as old friends and welcome them. They will stay a while, then we will part again, and lighter times will enter my life. I am confident enough in my own abilities to learn from each and every experience I live. Because I opened to myself.

On my darkest days, I opened my pandora box. With an open mind, open eyes and open arms. I was ready to welcome each and every part of who I was. In order to do so, I left aside this inner judgmental goblin we all have. This creature made by the culture we live in, the beliefs we were taught, the society we were raised into. They don’t belong to us, they were brought to us, they were imposed to us. We can follow the main rules without being robbed from our proper self. We all have an inner pandora box we kept hidden deep within. And by opening it, away from judgement, I made the choice to free myself from these self imposed shackles. I recognized my pieces, welcomed them, accepted them and integrated them into who I am. in doing so, I freed myself from the goblins, from judgement. And I initiated the beautiful path of self love. it took me some time to really appreciate who I am. To embrace my whole self, my passions, my uniqueness. But it brought me such an inner peace, and I found my integrity back. And it took me even longer to show my core to the world. Not by fear of it. More because it felt to out of place most of the time. Until I realized that I too belong to this flow, and that it was time for me to rise and shine, to show my true colors, with confidence, with love for myself and with a peaceful but strong will to let them bring their own touch to the canvas of life.

Of course, some didn’t understand or accept that I was how I was. We are just not on the same path. And theirs is as valid as mine. I can’t blame them, we are just walking in different directions and they all need to be explored. Still, I can still learn from them, their own experiences adding perspective to what I live. I won’t interfere, I will just watch them evolve and take what I need to take from their insights and actions. But it won’t change my own journey. Others are more difficult to deal with, as they really trigger me. Those are really interesting in fact, and their teachings are deeper. If I am triggered, it means that I still have to work on that very point. That I didn’t free myself from their judgement on that very subject. That I still have to learn about it. I am far from being perfect and I don’t aim to be. And in a way, knowing that I am still a work in progress is a real joy. When I feel triggered, my first instinct is to be in full defense mode… which to me leads to surround myself with high walls and grab my double blade axe. Full warrior mode, full protective mode. I now try to go another way, and it’s not that easy as this is my default way of dealing with this kind of things… but in doing so, I lock myself back… and that’s not how I want to go on with my life.

So now, when I feel triggered, I recognized that I am, and I thank the person who made me feel this way. Not because I love feeling that way, but because they show me where I need to focus my attention in order to grow. And when it’s too difficult (you can’t go from a full warrior mode to a daisy in a blink, clearly), I just ignore them, let it go, and work on it when I am by myself… I may also let some anger get out still, I am only a beginner in this realm… and I still have a lot of pride in me… You can’t overcome some of your personal hells without feeling a bit proud of yourself, can you? So I know, I may have to adjust that too, and I truly believe that this is why I am triggered so easily in some area of my life… I am a work in progress, and I love it, because there is always things to be improved. And I will work on them, with respect and love for myself. Because I deserve it.

So what do I have to fear? To discover what needs to be worked on still? It’s a beautiful thing. To be rejected? By who? They can reject me, but I still can consider them as valuable teachers, while going on my own path, with joy. To be judged? Judgement is an illusion. It doesn’t have to impact me, as it comes from a place of misunderstanding. We just go on different direction and I still can learn from them, with compassion and openness. To be hurt? Pain is part of life, just as everything else. It’s also a wonderful teacher, one of those who make you grow stronger and wiser. I embrace it as much as I embrace peace and happiness.

So this week, let your daisy self to open, to bloom, and to show the world what a beautiful core you have. Because you, too, deserve it.

The card

When I thought about being open, I envisioned a daisy right away. I could have drawn it from another view point, but I wanted it to express the growth openness means to me. I also chose not to show its core, because we don’t need to see it, it’s not aimed to us, but to the world. We built this core, we know how beautiful it is. I instead decided to put the focus on the petals, to illustrate both our will to open (they lead to the core) and our vulnerability (they are so delicate) and on the stem, holding everything together, grounded and rising . We can now spread our own magic into the world… I hope you’ll like it as much as I do!

My journey

my-journey-30Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-30Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week. Rise and shine!

The Alchemist Grove 29. The Elements: Earth.

This week, we will journey with the last of the four elements: Earth. To me, Earth is the anchoring, nourishing one. It’s the forces that provide us with everything we need in order to grow, to expand while being deeply grounded in our own reality.

I sometimes feel all over the place mentally. Too many things to deal with, too many emotions, and so little time to deal with them all. This is when I need to go to one of my favorite natural place. It can be by the lake, or in my parents’ garden. Or to any place I feel drawn to. I first look at it, then I choose somewhere I can sit. It can be a rock, grass, a tree, pebbles on a river bank, wherever I feel I can sit in a comfortable way. I then remove my shoes, and let my feet play on the soil, making contact with it. I can then meditate, or listen to the birds, to the leaves playing together, to the water, or take a book and relax. It’s not a time I waste doing nothing, or avoiding taking care of what needs to be taken care of. It’s an anchoring time, a time where I can download what I need to recover balance within. It’s a time where I go back to myself, to my inner peace. Then I can go back to what needs to be done, and be efficient in it.

We often loose this contact with earth, in our modern life. And we loose track of what it feels to be. I am lucky to live in a very natural place, and I can choose the one that feels the rightest when I feel I need to go get in touch with Nature. When are often led to believe that nature is dangerous, that it’s ‘dirty’, that we need to keep it clean at all cost… even if this cost is to cut ourselves from this connection, from this amazing way to anchor ourselves in our reality, in our identity. We are part of it, we are living beings. And we may try to deny it, to put ourselves on top of things, while we just are cells or an amazing living organism. We are part of it, and we are nourishing it as well as it nourishes us.

To me, Earth is that feeling of humility as well as belonging. Spending time in natural places really make me feel that special connection with what is around me. When I see my parents’ small garden, it makes me happy. They take care of it, and it nourishes them back. In a way, it is, at a really small scale, the illustration of our relationship with the element earth. If we take care of it, if we recognize it, if we connect to it, if we work with it, it will give us back what we need to grow, to be nourished, to go on, to be healthy.

When I meditate or just enjoy being in natural place, I really feel this connection. I often put not only my bare feet on the ground, but also my hands, palm down. I imagine the energy going through me, in a circle, from the ground, through my whole body, entering by my feet and going out through my palms, to go back to the ground. It’s a bit as if I was filling my batteries back, it truly feels that way. And it feel sooooo good.

So this week, try to find some time to go and connect yourself to earth, to fill your own personal battery with all what earth as to offer. Because you deserve it.

The card

This is the fourth and last one of the elements cards. I didn’t want to only express the grounding aspect of the element but also the nourish part of it.. So I went for a small plant… I love drawing them traditionally, with my pens and watercolors and it felt so good to be able to shift it to digital! I spend a bit of time drawing studies, and plants where my main focus at first, because I just love them so much! And they seem so… joyful! Fragile yet determined to grow, deeply and strongly anchored in the nourishing soil. What else could represent element earth than these ? I hope you’ll like it too!

My journey

my journey 29Télécharger

Our Journal

journal-week-29Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week.

The Alchemist Grove 28. The Elements: Air

This week, we will focus on a third element: Air. To me it represents clear thoughts, clear mind, that helps us to take decisions, to make choices. Air is also this soft breeze inspiring us. And it’s this deep breath we take from time to time, to come back to ourselves, to our serenity.

I am a very fiery person myself. But in time of crisis, or when facing choices, I have a secret weapon: I am able to clear my thoughts and mind, keeping my emotions at bay and analyze the situation with a clear mind. It took me a while and some really tough times to be able to just go from being a full empath to a pure mental being in a second. It’s not my favorite state of mind, to be completely honest, but I learned to use it to take really difficult decisions, or when I am overwhelmed with emotions. I must have like an emergency mode in my brain, that activates automatically when I am stressed or confused. This is what I call my survival mode. It’s a bit as if I could unveiling the situation with a lightning. I then see it clearly, in all its aspects, and act accordingly.

Most of the time, though, I just try to clear my mind and/or thoughts each evening. Putting things into perspective, trying to have the clearest vision, and determining the different paths I can choose. In a non emotional way. Which doesn’t mean in a cold way either. More in a state of peace, serenity, non judgemental. There are no bad or good choices. Each of them is a teacher. Just think about the last time you felt a soft breeze on your face… The way I see it, my thoughts connect into a web of possibilities, and offers me choices. I then can take my decisions depending on where I am right now in my life, pondering risks, and keeping in mind my main path.

Aside from helping us to see the situation as clearly as we can, Air also inspires us. When I am in a clear state of mind, when thoughts are wandering as they wish, they can connect to each other and give birth to ideas, plans, creativity. I then can add my own emotions, passions and skills to the project in order to bring it into reality. So when I feel stuck, or when I lack of motivation, when I lost my vision, I take a few deep breath, imagining it unveiling what I lost sight of. And as everything is clearer, I often get a motivation boost, or the ability to take a project to its end.

So to me, Air is a precious ally. It keeps me going as long as I can breathe. Helping me take decisions, make choices, inspiring me, relaxing me… And see as clearly as I can.

This week, take time to get in touch with your thoughts, your mind, and unveil what needs to be seen. See it as an opportunity to be at peace with yourself. Because you deserve it.

The card

Third one of the series. This one was challenging. I didn’t want to just draw an empty circle (I would have, if I got stuck, clearly hahaha). I took a break and went to make a cup of tea. And it hit me when I saw the steam… clouds. Oh, I know, technically it’s water… but then while I kept wondering how to represent the idea of something you can’t see, I took my cup of tea and watched through my window… a big storm was coming, and I could see the clouds moving really quickly… ok… so yes, clouds it will be! I didn’t get frustrated, I kept my thoughts on the idea of air, and opened my mind in order to allow it to inspire me, so I could make my choice… Air in a nutshell! I hope you’ll like it.

My journey

my-journey-28Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-28Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week.

The Alchemist Grove 27. The Elements : Water.

This week we go on exploring the four elements. After the passion of Fire, it’s time for us to dive into the deep purification of Water.

When I feel stressed after a working day, or after simply being with too many people, I go and take a long shower. I love to see it as a special self care moment. I put some calm, but powerful music on, light a few candles, grab my favorite towel and I enter this quite meditative state. I set the water temperature to rather high, because to me, warm water is protective, loving, comforting. I am now ready to let Water do its magic. Let me share this practice with you. I call it my cleansing meditation.

As I let the water running from top to bottom, and I envision it washing all away. I focus on each part of my body. I am perfectly conscious that the water is only running on the outside of my body, but I try to envision each part of my body being cleansed too.

  • I begin with my head, my thoughts, my mind, my meandering analysis… it takes me a while, because I stocked there everything that happens during the day, and it need to be ordered a bit. I acknowledge what needs to be acknowledge, release what is not required to stay. Until I am back to inner peace, to the calmness of thoughts.
  • Then, I move to my shoulders, I acknowledge the weight I put on them during my day, piece by piece. I am now and here in a safe place, I don’t need to wear is anymore. I release it, washing it all away. I can feel my muscles relaxing under the action of the warm water, this waterfall of cleansing water coming from my shower head. My neck can move more easily, I don’t need to control anything anymore, I just go with the flow. I start breathing more easily, as I don’t feel this heaviness anymore.
  • Next step is to focus on my lungs. I take deep breaths, envisioning clean fresh air coming in, filling my lungs, taking all the remaining particles of stress away, allowing my lungs to expand. I usually take deep inspirations, envisioning this clean fresh air, then hold it for 5 to 6 seconds, to allow it to do its job, and exhale through my mouths with strength, in order to let it go. I do it 3 to 4 times, until I feel my respiration is far easier. The water drops in the air bring this extra cleansing, in my mind anyway.
  • Now is the time to focus on my heart. I can feel it pulsating calmly by now, and I can let all the emotions go too. I free it from everything I felt during my day. And I focus on the circulation of this clean stream of blood it sends through my whole body. This is when I usually let go of overwhelming emotions. In particularly tough days, I can let my tears go to. Connecting my inner water to the one cleaning my body from outside… I stay there, until I feel an harmony between my inner flow and the waterfall still flowing from above my head.
  • I then move my attention to my stomach, to my bowel, to my lower abdomen… What do I need to digest from this day, from this event? I try to really be honest with myself… Once I found what really was difficult for me to digest, I let it go, I let it be washed away too. I acknowledge its reality, I don’t need it to bother me anymore. It can go away.
  • Usually at that time of the meditation, I focus on my spine, moving slightly my body so that the warm water can massage it. I need to take care of my backbone, as it allows me to stand up, it brings me the solid structure to build my whole self from, being flexible when required, but strong. I try to have the water run on each of my vertebraes. They are part of a whole, they support each other and together they offer me a solid frame. I thank them for that.
  • I move to my hips, my pubic area, contracting and release my perinea, center of my body. I like to envision the water going from the top of my head to my perinea, cleaning this pillar which is my spine. My perinea is the base of it.
  • I then focus on my legs, making a stop by my knees, thanking them to support me. I release any tension I may feel there, focusing on these words in my head « I am fully supported, I support myself fully ».
  • Now is the time to close the meditation, I envision a last time the water running through my whole body, and I let it go through my finger tips and my toes, joining the warm water running on my body, to be released and letting me be cleanse from inside out.
  • And I take a last deep breath before stopping the water, wrapping my in my towel and going to make me a good up of my favorite tea of the moment. I feel at peace.

So here it is. I hope you can try it and enjoy this as much as I do.

You can also do it a sole meditation practice. You can go through the whole process without standing under a shower, just envisioning a waterfall going from the top of your head through your body.

Water is also the element of emotions, of cycles. I decided a while ago to go with the flow, to listen to what I feel and act accordingly. I feel in harmony with myself. And if I can’t, for whatever reason, I hold on, thinking about the good shower I will take when back home.

On my darkest days, I shut my emotions. It was a matter of survival, truly. I needed to get out of the place I was in my life, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do so if I listen to everything I could feel. It was my way of dealing with those events and I learned a lot. I also actually got out and when time has come, I could open again to my emotions. It took me some time to align myself again with the intensity of some of them, but I embraced the process. I now welcome each of my emotions, as they are mine. They are part of my own life experience. They are landmarks of my journey. I don’t try to repress them or to judge them. They all have something to teach me. And each of them is valuable. The palette of my emotions is what makes me who I am. And I am thankful to be able to feel the way I do.

So this week, let Water guide you. Embrace your emotions, purify yourself inside out, and enjoy the cycle of life! Because you deserve it.

The card

Second one of the elemental card! I went with the idea of a soft wave, with some depth. it’s a simple design, but these cards are more about the essence than the representation. I hope you’ll like it.

My journey

my-journey-27Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-27Télécharger

I wish you a good and beautiful week. Next week, we will explore Air!

The Alchemist Grove 26. The Elements: Fire.

This week, we will start to explore the four elements, beginning with Fire. Fire is passion, motivation, will, action.

As I feel at the edge of beginning a new cycle of my life, I felt as appropriate to check with each of the elements, to remember and integrate each of them within me for the time being. And as the last stage was Sun, starting with fire seemed appropriate.

I am a rather passionate being. When I feel drawn to something, I will aim all my will to understand it, put it in perspective, master it. I am strong willed and nothing can stop me if I set my mind on something. I am driven by a seemingly endless curiosity, and I am not afraid to act upon things I think deserve my whole attention.

My inner warrior is fueled by this inner flame of mine. I am fearless (what is left for me to lose? Nothing), strong willed, and I can take a lot. I am not afraid to fight for something I feel is worth it. I am not afraid to be defeated, as I know that I will then rise from my own ashes, stronger, wiser, and even more determined. I have this thirst for life that pushes me to act whenever I feel like. I am not afraid to show my true colors to the world, and they can definitely feel the fire burning within.

Fire is also creativity. It’s the spark that ignite inspiration, the enthusiasm of creation, the visions I try to manifest. Anything can be inspiration. Anything can be the source of a blazing spiral of art, in the form they choose to be.

Fire is the life that burns within, is what makes me go further, go deeper, go higher, without fear, expecting the unexpected. It’s what inspires me, what makes me create, share, with enthusiasm.

Fire was meant to be the first element I align with, this week.

So this week, explore the element of fire in your life, accept it as a part of you and enjoy the ride it will offer you!

The card

I drew 4 cards last week, one for each of the elements. They are all in the same format, they all represent the essence of each element, to me. Therefore they are simple, straightforward, but full of their own magic. I never truly drew a flame before, and it was an experiment I really enjoyed. I hope you like it too!

My journey

my-journey-26Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-26Télécharger

I wish you a sweet week, because you deserve it.

The Alchemist Grove 25. The Sun.

When I saw the topic of this week, I couldn’t help but laughing for a good 15 minutes. You see, we are in the middle of a heat wave and I really have a hard time with it. I am not made for that kind of temperatures… or light… but I gave it a thought and I realized that the time had come to rise and shine.

I never was able to blend. And it’s ok, I don’t mind. But I spent the time trying to be unnoticed.. I wanted peace, i wanted to put my pieces together. I tried to hide my fiery temper, my true self to avoid drama and useless explanation. people are so prompt to judge, especially if they don’t understand. They need to feel comfortable in their perception of their environment, which include people sharing it. I also needed to protect my child for a bit longer than a decade, so I shut down and tried to play along rules. When Emma passed, I went on. I needed to take the time I needed to put myself back together. But then, the time came when I didn’t need to hide anymore. I started to unleash part of myself that would be easily accepted first… then pushed further and further, until everything was being seen. Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Showing my true colors, being myself again.

It wasn’t that easy. I had to be careful, to go slowly, but I was determined and nothing could stop the process. It was time for my very own sun to rise and to shine. Until I was able to show the world my light and warmth. Until the seeded I planted during my winter started to bloom and flourish. It wasn’t that easy… I still had to learn to adjust… I was indeed able to burn… and I did, from time to time… I can be really patient and understanding, but if you go too far, this is what you get.

Of course, some saw my rising self as a threat to their own light, while I was just here the whole time, just hidden by the clouds they send in my direction… But clouds come and go… and my time had come to shine. My own way, just adding some light here and there, just bringing my energy to the collective… Freely. I wasn’t trying to steal anything to anyone, there is enough room from each of us and more. I knew I had a lot to share, a lot to give, a lot to learn, and I was opening myself to these experiences… Of course, more clouds were sent my way, of course they came and went…

I firmly believe in balance, in equilibrium. I try to be as fair as I can. I ignored the attempts to switch off my light. They just didn’t realize that they spent really valuable energy for no reason other than comforting their ego. I was passed that kind of game. I was just myself again, and that was all that mattered, because I went through so much to reach this point. I was strong and bright, willing to help the growth of was was placed under my responsibility. It was time for me to do what I was meant to do. And it didn’t depend on anyone but me. I was confident in my abilities, perfectly aware of my limits and I accepted it with no problem. I was (and still is) a work in progress, but I was strong enough to bring my part to the world.

In a way, it was a brand new experience for me. I perfectly knew my dark side, but I had no idea of what my light one would be. I just knew I was ready to show it, to myself, to others, to the collective. I decided to go with the flow, and to trust in the process, because I could feel it was the right thing to do deep within. It was time to bring balance back, and I was part of it. I have no appetite for power, never had, probably never will. it’s just not my thing. But I can’t stand injustice, I am really good at fighting for what I believe in. I know who I am, where I come from and what I need to do. it took a while, but I stood firm, and I bring what I can to those who need it. I try not to be distracted by those clouds here and there. They are not meant for me. They can’t shut my light off, they only can hide it from those it is meant to. But it always end up showing. So I rise each morning, shine as I can, and let them bloom and flourish. I then rejuvenate with the Moon and go on the next day. This is what I am meant to do, this is what I am meant to be. I am a burning ball of passion, life and my energy is meant for those willing to receive it. I just hope to help them grow, and show them the light they need to go on their own journey.

So this week, Be the sun of your own life, rise and shine, be happy to do so. And show the world your true self. because it deserves it. Because you deserve it.

The card

I didn’t have to look really far for inspiration, i simply used the card of the sun I made for last year inner journey. I really suffer from the heat and I don’t have a lot of energy… And it’s a really really busy time at work, so I didn’t have much time. But I am pretty happy with it. Of course, I will work on it again later, but for now, it really expresses the strength and warmth of the sun. I hope you like it.

My journey

my-journey-25Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-25Télécharger

I wish you a beautiful week. Rise and shine!

The Alchemist Grove 24. The Hill

This week, we will focus on reaching a goal, on accomplishing a quest.

Sometimes, we feel stuck in our everyday life. We loose the motivation or the little spark that makes us willing to go further, to project ourselves into something. We just take one day as it comes, and live through it, without any enthusiasm or joy. This year was like that, to me. I went to work, did my job the best way I could with all the boundaries and blocks placed by the pandemy, with a fear anchored in my guts each and everyday. To be sick, to have a kid pass it to one of his high risk family members… We couldn’t use common material, we all had to wear a mask (not the 2 first months though, only teacher had to). Have you every tried to teach language and phonology with a mask on? Yeah, not that easy. Have you ever tried to get 25 kids attention while the only facial expression they can read are your eyes? Nearly impossible… Anyway, I decided to just do what I had to do and to get them where I was supposed to get them. No sparks, no enthusiasm… I almost thought about quitting at one point (because the situation was difficult, but if you add administration blindness and meaningless orders, well, it’s getting close to mistreatment… ). Then I decided to have a goal, something that would ignite my spark back, something that would give a sense back to my job. I decided to change my whole way of teaching, next year. This year is almost done, I can’t do anything about it, but next year, I want to be the teacher I usually am, and I also want to balance my private and professional life in a way that won’t let the second one take over the first. I did my researches, and the simple fact that I will take a new start made me feel relieved. As soon as I set my goals and acted upon them, everything changed. I have something to work towards, I have a challenge to face, I have a lot of work to do, this summer, but it will be something I build, not something I just follow while I wait for the end of the year to come. This is something that I can do no matter the circumstances, that I will be able to improve and to take joy doing. My spark is back. And I already am in a better place. Right now.

When I think about it, it’s not even the actual goal that made me find my motivation back. It’s the action I took, once I took my decision, once, I set my intention. I was stuck in a swamp, up to my waist, wondering how to get out or even to go on… And now I feel like I was lifted out of there, and projected in a whole different direction, just like that. And then I realized that this is the way I work, actually. I go on the way I am supposed to go, because this is the way I am told to go. I lose myself in the process… especially when the orders are contradictory, that you also have to deal with unexpected additional difficulties to overcome… when I have to adapt to meaningless things… It increases my frustration, and I spend a lot of energy to deal with it… And I am still not good at that, even if I work on it… It took over my professional life. And I felt helpless, instead of finding a way to own it and to go my own way, to find a way to creatively make everything more meaningful.

As soon as i decided to react, to act, and to gain back some control, in a way, I wasn’t crushed anymore by all this. I wasn’t enduring it. I was overcoming. What was my comfort zone became a very uncomfortable place, I needed more space, I needed a new breath of fresh air. And that’s what I managed to do: allowing me to take some fresh air and to expand my vision on my job. By looking at it from another perspective, I wasn’t stuck anymore. It wasn’t boring anymore, it wasn’t frustrating anymore. It became exciting again, it made sense again, I was enjoying it again.

This is true for other realms of my life too. I can feel overwhelmed sometimes, stuck, but as soon as I decide to act on it, I discover that it was only an illusion. I can do whatever I put my mind to do. I just have to stop running, stand up and declare that from now on, I am working on it. Weirdly, everything goes in the right direction far faster than I first thought it would. And all the energy I spent feeding my frustration is now aimed to something more positive, actually meaningful, something that lift me up instead of crushing me down.

So this week, set goals for a realm of your life. A small easily reachable goal. And act towards it. Baby steps or giant jump, it doesn’t matter, just act. Do researches, get the material you need, make a plan, and go forward. Because you deserve it.

The card

When I thought about a goal, I envisioned this stone on top of a hill. Something you can reach, something you can keep your eyes on while you walk towards it. It had to be special, so I went for a pinkish color, to contrast with the environment. I feel more confident to try new stuff, to experiment, and I had a lot of fun playing with the tree and bushes, and to try and draw the rocks and moss. I first went with a far darker color for the rocks, but changed it to this more neutral hue. Because our eyes have to be on the stone on top of the hill, not on those protective but blocking rocks. I think I managed to express it. I hope you’ll like it too.

My journey

my-journey-24Télécharger

Our journal

journal-week-24Télécharger

I wish you a sweet exciting week!